Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Let's paint friendship bongs
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
