My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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