Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
