the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hippo gnu deer
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
