So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
