Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So many bounce houses so little time
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
