I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
