The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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