when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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