He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize