all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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