btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
