help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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