I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
