It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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