no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
