im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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