Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
