Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
