just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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