Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
