and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize