Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
