he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
