Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think i have herpe
just one?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
