she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
