The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I am spending my child support on dildos
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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