just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
