I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My liver just had a heart attack.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
