my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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