whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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