Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
