O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
