Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
