Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
