I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize