Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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