....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
