you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
