I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
