even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
