if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The struggles of a small town man whore
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
