i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
