Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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