Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
