Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize