Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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