Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
