no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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