Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
