so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
