At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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