Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
