dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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