"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just googled if crying burns calories
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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