I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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