Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize