I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
