i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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