i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize