The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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