I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
